It has been a while since I have written,life had me hanging by my fingernails...the best manicure in town could not have fixed this one! Thanks to my friends(as usual(:),and my God I have new found clarity and fukus..inside joke hahaha! Getting caught in the rut of every day life closes up the mind and makes little things turn into destructive tornadoes,hate that.How come it is so easy to get off track?

Cinderella vs Barbie

So we grow up watching and playing with these things that are totally opposite from reality.I mean really when has any man ever acted like Prince Charming or Ken! If by chance you score with a guy who lives in a modern day castle chances are you will never see him because he is a workaholic.Barbie's scenario will be hard to match because Ken does everything Barbie tells him to do,(without any argument).I don't recall Cinderella ever making any sounds that would make Prince Charming hold his nose or wave his hand in the air.These perfect little creatures we played with started putting stress on us at a very early age and we didn't even know it! The facade of looking perfect and having a perfect life has been drilled into our heads from childhood, it's no wonder we are so hard on ourselves.Relationship wise it would be impossible to create or have everything exactly the way they did. Half, if not more of the men out there can't stand responsibility. If they are capable of carrying the load, they more than likely play just as hard as they work. I might feel a little closer to having their dreamworld if I could have a pink corvette or a castle like Cinderella ended up with! So if there are any Prince Charming's or Ken's out there please clone yourselves and let a girl have a taste of the fairytale life!

Looking in the mirror

I have noticed over the years that some women live with their face in the mirror and others look once a day! It is easier to look in the mirror if you like what you see,or maybe your appearance is the most important thing to you. Perfection from the way society sees it makes it virtually impossible for us to feel like we measure up!Every magazine has the cover girl airbrushed and polished to look like the most beautiful girl we have ever seen.In real life however you may not even recognize her.There is so much pressure to look a certain way that 90 lb teenagers think that they are fat.From the moment our eyes open in the morning to when we go to sleep our minds never stop comparing! It can be exhausting if you let it,or you can look in the mirror and say I love you just the way you are,and learn to believe it! Beauty does not come from anywhere but within.Those beautiful women we compare ourselves to have just as many hangups as we do, if not more! Confidence comes from loving yourself enough in a healthy way.Knowing who you are and what you like or dislike is so much more important than looking a certain way! Love the precious person that you are, be whole and full of peace and grace for that is true beauty.

What if...

Not to sound morbid or anything,but what if you didn't wake up in the morning? What kind of stories would people tell about you? How would your children remember you? Would it be easy to sift through the things that you cherished most?We think about ourselves a lot, but not in the way of how we effect people!How do we touch others lives in a positive manner?If the person behind you at the grocery store has less items than you do,do you let them go ahead?Have you ever payed for the person behind you in the drive thru line, or gave food to the homeless at the park?Talk about a great feeling...these people on the receiving end don't really know what to think at first,but these memories stay with them forever.Unfortunately stress and other problems have a way of keeping these blessing's from happening.I was in the store a few days ago and this sweet little old man was riding in one of those electric scooters.I watched him struggle to get out of it and when he did he couldn't reach what he wanted.I walked past him,thinking of my own needs, but I didn't get far before that little voice said get yourself back there and help him! Twenty minutes later(thank God those baskets aren't very big haha) he had what he needed and I was late to pick up my son. I am so thankful that I don't have to shop in a scooter!Situations like this have such a powerful way of diverting all of the stupid stuff we have on our minds that get us down.No strength is greater than calmness, no power greater than peace!

Naughty or Nice

I have noticed that there are basically two kinds of men out there.The "naughty" man is always doing something that comes from his own self centered needs.He does what he wants when he wants.They have a never ending need for attention and act like 3 year olds if they don't get their way.That is because they did not get past that stage of maturing when they were toddlers.They are grown men with a 3 year old mentality.Your boundaries,if you have any are crossed because they have none of their own which makes it impossible to have any type of relationship.3 year olds get into everything under the sun even though they are disciplined repeatedly.They cannot comprehend consequence yet,all they know is I want it now!They(bless their hearts)can cause total kayos if they don't get their way,which is very similar to how the adult "child" acts!For some really crazy reason we think that this type of man is attractive and challenging.He never becomes the man you think he will and most certainly can not love and value anything,not even himself!What is even more crazy is that the super nice guy standing next to him gets ignored and passed by!The nice guy doesn't demand attention and may not have the best hair or outfit on,but that is because he is who he is without all of that.His heart and mind are better looking than any naughty guy could hope for,we just overlook that very important part.Take time to evaluate your current situation because the stuff you start out dealing with is the stuff you will have to put up with FOREVER my dear.

Going To The Movies

Watching our Parents interact with each other as kids is very much like watching a movie over and over again!Were they respectful and kind or angry and disrespectful?How did they treat you when a problem occured or you did something wrong?This is such an important factor in the way we percieve what relationships are supposed to be like.If you are a parent yourself, which one of your parents are you most like?Do you find yourself doing the exact same things that as a kid you vowed never to do?This is because we have watched our parent or parents handle life issues good or bad the same way over and over,it is ingrained in us.We learn certain behaviors and react accordingly by 3 yrs old,temper tantrums etc... and most of what we learn comes from what we see and how we are raised.If our temper tantrums were dealt with calmly and with love then that is how we learn to deal with out of control emotions.However if the tantrum was dealt with by an Adult who also had a tantrum (out of control) than we never learned to handle life situations by staying in control or keeping our cool!We also learn about healthy boundaries and sympathy at this young age,so if we are parented by angry,out of control people then those very precious golden keys to life are never given to us.Which makes it very hard for us to learn to parent the right way.Yes we love our adorable little tike's,but as soon as the first challenge arises...look out,it will hit the fan!Plus you have probably picked a spouse that reacts just the way one of your parents did,so you are re-creating your childhood all over again.Don't worry habit's can be broken,and with time and baby steps you can heal yourself.Start thinking about how you would like to be treated,get a journal and imagine what your life would be like if you could have it just the way you wanted.Where would you live,work and what would your home be like?Would you cook more,re-paint your bedroom,spend quality time with the kids?If you do not create healthy boundaries for yourself then you will get trampled on and be exhausted.Your life is what you make it,there are tons of books(The 5 languages of love)is a great one to help you figure out what you and the people around you need to feel loved.Re-learning things to help you feel better body,mind and spirit is tough at first,but you deserve to be the very best you that you can be!It doesn't matter what you have been told,you are a precious human being.There are all kinds of people around us,learn who can give what and who can't.We can't give what we don't have! Creating a healthy environment to thrive in is so important,and isn't all that hard to do! With a little effort anything is possible...you can do this!

Hurting People Hurt People!

My Father was captured and tortured until he escaped while in the war.When he came home his wife had left him and taken all of his money!So you can imagine what my childhood was like.It seems all of the women who are like me(and I have met a lot)came from a house full of dysfunction and kayos.I was the classic people pleaser ,couldn't say no to save my life.My happiness came from making others happy.My Father died of lung cancer in 1995...he wanted a cigarette while in the hospital dying(darn addictions)!It hit me at that moment that no matter how hard I had tried to get him to stop smoking,he was going to do exactly what he wanted regardless of how much it hurt me.I could have loved him for who he was,but I was to emotional and sensitive to do so.I grew from that reality and knew I had a lot of work to do.My pregnancy gave me a good dose of panic which led to some serious soul searching.My healing process got a little easier when I started listening to positive things from people who wanted to help(Joyce Meyer and a few others).It felt like everything she talked about was something I needed to work on.For the first time in my life I got a journal and poured my heart out.It felt really weird,like I didn't want anyone to find it,but I kept going.This is the 10th year I have been listening and writing, so I am celebrating by reaching out to whomever I can that may need help just as I did.I would go on television but the economy and all :). It is my wish that you get my humor and understand that I don't think that I know everything about life. My passion is to free as many people as I can from the dysfunction that we were taught to live in.So realize that Hurting people Hurt people,but that doesn't mean that you deserve to be hurt.It means that we will find a way to keep those people who like to hurt out of our yards and hearts.Get ready to dig my friend,that is the only way to heal and gain self respect(insect repellent)!